As I write this post, I am 18 weeks and two days pregnant and I am still so grateful to be able to be on this crazy, whirlwind of a journey, I really am. As I write this post, I look down and see the little bump protruding from my abdomen, which I know is where my little bundle of joy is all snuggled up. As I look up at myself in the mirror, I see me, but I also see a body that I do not recognise.
If you've read my blog for a while, you'll know that body image is something that I've struggled with on and off for the longest time. If it's not my arms that i'm battling with it's my stomach and if it's not my stomach then it's my thighs. I'm pretty sure most people will have specific parts of their body that they're not completely satisfied with and I for one am struggling with my growing body.
I think pregnant women that express negative feelings about their body often get judged massively, but if something is bothering you or getting you down, you should definitely speak up about it. When I found out that I was pregnant, I knew that my body would change and grow, I just didn't realise how much so and how soon. I fully understand that my body is doing something absolutely amazing by creating a brand new life that I'm already so excited to meet, but that doesn't mean that my brain still won't have alarm bells ringing when my face looks fuller and my jeans start getting tight around my thighs.
When I asked Jack to take some photos for me for a blog post, I had a cute little outfit of the day style post planned, but when I saw myself on the phone screen, I was hit by a feeling of, whoa, my body really is growing. I knew my baby bump was there, but honestly, I wasn't quite aware of how large my chest now looked and how much my legs didn't resemble the legs of the Maisie I thought they did.
I really am working on look past my own vanity, but when your brain is telling you that you look awful on an almost daily basis, it's hard to ignore it, even when you are continuously telling yourself that you're literally growing a human being. I'm sure i'm not the first or the only mumma to be that feels like this and if there are two things that I have started telling myself that actually seem to be taking some sort of effect on my mind, is a, that this changing body of mine will, before I know it, be bringing a teeny tiny human into this world that I will get to cherish forever and b, is only this little babys home for a little while longer and then it will start looking different all over again!
But then I see how much I'm smiling in all of the photos we took this day and I think, isn't that what matters though? (Please ignore Jack's profanities) On the good days, I'm the happiest I've ever been and I wouldn't change my little life for the world. I honestly feel blessed to be (generally) this happy and to be so healthy.
I know that I'll get through this pregnancy with a few more hiccups when it comes to my body image, but at the end of the day, I'm doing something magical and I know all of these hardships will be totally worth it, so take that brain! How do you deal with body image during pregnancy? Did you sruggle with it or does it not phase you? I'd love to hear from you guys!
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